


Bad Things Come In Threes

by OnyxWerewolf



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/M, FAHC, FAHC Urban Fantasy AU, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Urban Fantasy, Violence, fae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 04:57:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxWerewolf/pseuds/OnyxWerewolf
Summary: They start with a construct of the city.They continue with the embodiment of death.They take a break with the addition of a dryad.The Court of Fakes before the siren or the dragon or the human witch.





	Bad Things Come In Threes

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first story to my FAHC Urban Fantasy AU, hope you all enjoy it. Please leave feedback in the comments!

When Burns begs for help from the city, it creates Geoff, a body from idle litter and neon streetlight glow and dirty river water.

He makes the Roosters greater than they could ever be on their own, pushes them to the limits and watches them flourish. Of course, Burns is still the boss, still makes the plans, but with the living embodiment of the city on their side, it gives them a leg up on the competition. 

But nothing is immortal. Nothing can stay forever, at least nothing built by mortal hands. So they die, because that's what mortals do best. In Geoff's personal experience, dying is the only thing mortals can be depended upon to do.

Hullum got a car bomb, Heyman got a poison martini, Sorola got nothing special, just a bullet to the back of the head. 

Burns ran. He ran and he ran, far away from the city. Whether he's dead or alive, Geoff didn't really know and it irritated him that the small human part of himself actually cared a little.

Geoff had finally completed the purpose he was made for. He figured at this point he'd just cease to exist, but it seemed that the city had different plans for him. 

It whispers to him in a voice that only he can hear, 'Stay,' it hisses, 'Be the next king and you shall rule all till the end.'

Geoff likes the sound of that.

***

At first he makes a rule: no humans.

It's a good rule he thinks and he sticks by it. 

He searches for his first member and it takes him a while, but then he has an interesting idea. 

He was with Gus when he died, ambush in an alleyway. Of course, he flayed the skin from the bodies of the people that dared cross him and kill a person he considered a friend. He had seen the reaper, a creature of pure death that guided the dead to their final destination. When he saw it, it was clad in a dark and smart looking suit, blond hair long and eyes shining despite the way they seemed so sunken into his head.

He conjured up the reaper and decided to have a chat. The reaper was amused and only slightly surprised that this normal looking man had conjured him up. Once Geoff explained who he was, or rather what he was, the reaper understood the gravity of it all.

The reaper went by the name Ryan. 

Geoff offered him a place in a new court he was building, promising him all the death he could handle. 

It was then and there Ryan changed, gone was the normal black suit of the reapers and the pale gaunt skin. Once he was done, Ryan wore black jeans and a blue and black leather jacket. His long hair was tied back in a loose ponytail and his skin looked alive and was full of warmth. He looked... normal.

***

The ancient laws to the courts stated it took three to start one, so the city and the reaper searched. They searched for someone who would fit what they wanted, but none appeared and it seemed they may give up the search.

Then, she appeared. 

The two heard through the grapevine of a new contender in the city, a nymph that gained her speed from the roar of the engine and leaves only black tire marks on the pavement as a calling card.

Intrigued as to how a nymph, a being of spring and nature and everything that the city wasn't survived so far from her tree, the city and the reaper went looking for her. 

Her name was Jack and she was damn near the best driver and pilot the two had ever seen. They talked about ruling the city, of the divvying up of power, of commands and rules and loyalty. By the end of the talk, Geoff had his own loyal second in command. Of course, Ryan came before Jack, but the reaper insisted that second in command wasn't the place he wanted, that he'd rather be the fixer of problems, the one they sent out when things were at its worst.

So it was agreed upon, and then and there, the Court of Fakes was born.

Geoff, with his right and left hand set out to make the city theirs. 

And that's exactly what they did. 

***

When word travels by way of mouth, the word tends to get distorted, especially when it falls on mortal ears. 

It starts with the Supernatural Defense Council, or the SDC as they are more commonly known. It's a law that everything in the city that isn't quite human has to register with the SDC, though not one that Geoff or Jack or Ryan observed. With the registration of each person it's also a law that a court, organization, coven, or what have you is to be registered. So when a new court pops up on the block and it gets back to the SDC, they come knocking. 

The officers sent are never heard from again.

Not every court is registered, and even the ones who are usually dip into the underworld of Los Santos and they have their own spies and informants in the SDC. So it moves to the Fakes competition, and those courts get riled up about just three nobodies marching in and taking their territory. So they send some people.

Those court members are never heard from again.

Then of course when the Fakes start making plays in the underworld, start taking scores and stealing from local crews and gangs, it gets to the mortal criminals. Its actually a rumor started by the Fakes themselves, that a trio of criminals have made a crew and are planning on running Los Santos, the Fake AH Crew they call them. The rumor does exactly what they intended it to do, it sends the normal gangs and crews running to their doorstep to try and nip the problem in the bud before it gets too big.

Those gangs and crews are never heard from again.

***

The Fakes keep toeing the line, building contacts and forging alliances and destroying those who refused or betrayed them. Brick by bloody brick is added to their empire and soon enough the Fakes are one of the biggest crews in the city. But three magical creatures does not a indestructible group make and Geoff wasn't interested in 'one of the biggest.' He was more interested in 'the biggest.' 

So when a young, washed ashore siren shows up on their doorstep, looking to charm them out of their money, Geoff thinks that maybe they need new members. Ryan, the one who answered the door just wants to shank the 'fish out of water' and dump in the waves. But Geoff has a better idea.

Telling the Reaper to stand down, Geoff steps forward and relishes the way the siren squirms when Geoff's gaze is fully on him.

"You got a name, bass breath?" asked Geoff.

In a thick and utterly annoying British accent, he replied, "G-Gavin."

"Well, G-Gavin," said Geoff, a smug grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye. "How would you like a job?"

 

And as the mortals say, the rest is history.


End file.
